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I married to this fucker so I need to make this work.

It’s been 2 and a half years since me and her got together at first I thought it was a thing to do just to past the time but the more we spent time together the more this has grown. You been with me the whole time even when others have doubted me you didn’t I dedicated this to you  Realtalkwithmatty.com for  believing in me seeing my hopes my dreams and my vision.

 

I remember when I first started writing my blog I was excited as a little kid, I wanted to tell every one about my blog, the website, and what I was  writing about  and some of the topics  that i wanted to discuss for a small few they had genuine love for me and wish me the best while others was staring at me like i had three heads on my shoulders, a couple of people  had the upset stomach look ( as if to say what do you want to do that for)  it was at this moment that i knew to stop talking about my blog everything is not for everybody. You can’t expect someone to understand your passion, drive, or vision if they don’t have the same focus, desires, will power as you.

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People fear what they don’t understand and criticize  anything that is different from what they know or normally do  getting someone to see your vision might be  a waste of your time and energy,  and let’s be honest do you really want those type of people around you with their doubt and negativity surrounding you trying to kill your dreams.  Those type of people we call  dream killers they don’t have vision  and can’t understand yours don’t know art and not willing  to learn about it, they don’t want nothing out of life and hate to see anyone else trying to do something  good in life.

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You can’t live your dreams through someone else eyes you have to walk your own path .  As long  as  you have creators  artist  visionary there will always be hater, naysayers, and doubter, the dream killers their to discredit you the first chance they get. I read something the other day that caught my attention the message said there will always be someone who can’t see your worth, don’t let it be you.  People will discredit you all day everyday and twice on Sunday  these dream killers might be at your church, school, work, hell mite even be in your own home they will doubt your passion your vision but you should never doubt yourself if you don’t take yourself serious who will .

 

I dedicate this to Akio Evans, Unorthodox Visionz and Tana let no ones thoughts confine you live your dream and embrace your vision . As for myself  I’m married to this fucker  so I’m going to make this work.

 

 

# You said you was grown then act like it.

Being grown is more than you reaching a certain age, it has to do more with being a mature  responsible adult, even when other adults may be acting childish doesn’t mean you have to. You don’t get no awards for acting like a responsible adult nor should you, you should carry it like a grown up because it the right thing to do.   At the end of the day everyone is responsible for their own actions even if they don’t think so.

In today’s society pointing finger is the new keeping it real, it’s more easy to blame someone for else for your problems then for you to take ownership for your own actions.

Why don’t people take personal responsibility for their own actions anymore. As a society in whole we  are quick to play the blame game on someone else,  it’s never  your fault someone else has to take the blame. It’s their fault why you got fired, why you didn’t get that promotion etc you and your actions didn’t have nothing to do with any of this.

I spoke about this in my last blog (# Your not a special snowflake) people walk around oblivious to their own bull crap and think that you have to deal with it like you are obligate to them, never willing to take ownership  for their own actions. As much as people try to pass the buck or blame someone else for their misfortunes, it comes a time in everyone life when they have to face  adversity head on. The question now  is are you going to take ownership for your own actions like a grown person does or are you going to keep pointing fingers and  blaming everyone else for what going wrong with your life. (The choice is yours)

# Million Man March

Realtalkwithmatty

It’s been 21 years since the first Million man march on October 16, 1995 this day will ever be etched in my mind. This day was a day of love, peace, brother hood.  Hope for my race as a  man and father, hope for the future. I remember everyone was talking about going to dc We made a plan to go to hear the many speakers and to listen to what everyone had to say about the day of atonement what started out as a group of 25 people turn to an army of one.

One by one they started to back out of the plan,  Mike said he wasn’t going because he feared for his life so he didn’t go,  Kip said his mother thought that the Government would bomb D.C so he backed out once the dust settled I was the only one still going.

The days leading…

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# Million Man March

 

It’s been 21 years since the first Million man march on October 16, 1995 this day will ever be etched in my mind. This day was a day of love, peace, brother hood.  Hope for my race as a  man and father, hope for the future. I remember everyone was talking about going to dc We made a plan to go to hear the many speakers and to listen to what everyone had to say about the day of atonement what started out as a group of 25 people turn to an army of one.

One by one they started to back out of the plan,  Mike said he wasn’t going because he feared for his life so he didn’t go,  Kip said his mother thought that the Government would bomb D.C so he backed out once the dust settled I was the only one still going.

The days leading up to the march I thought about backing down and not going, the United states past history shows that when it comes to Blacks in America they don’t always play fair or by the rules but something inside of me kept telling me to go.    At the time I was working at Nations Bank and if you wanted to go to the march they would let you have the day off.     As the  day approach I was excited and nervous at the same time, excited about the  day and hope for the future and nervous about the unknown of what to expect once i made it to dc..

 

As I arrived at the train station to purchase a ticket I looked  around and saw Black men everywhere, the turn out was big not only was there a large crowd but everyone was getting along ( that’s something I thought I would never see in a lifetime) there was no egos,  no drama,  no one trying to see how tough they where just one common goal unified.  It was so packed in the stations that I had to look around to find a seat.  Once I found a seat I  sat down  checking  out my surrounding (  where I from you have to B-more careful ) still looking around in amazement to see how many men was at the station when one guy stood up and said let’s get pumped we’re going to Washington DC baby make some noise everyone started clapping their hands then we heard the train to DC was about to pull into the station.

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As everyone started to get on the train seats was going quick , I was walking through the cars hoping to find a seat finely after six different cars I found a seat.  I set next to a man name Marcus this was quite ironic this is also my son’s name i thought about taking my son with me to D.C. at the time he was 5 but the uncertainty of what lies ahead made me change my mind. Me and Marcus talked all the way their about what we hoped would happen at the march a day of atonement and the future of our race then I heard the announcement that we have arrived in Washington D.C.

Once we got off the train Marcus  said he knew the way to National Mall  so I followed him as we were walking towards the march the crowd begin to get larger and larger as we walked around meeting people from all over the United State everybody giving us warm greeting I met people from Alabama, California, Texas, Denver and Portland.

One person that I would never forget was Dave from Alaska at first I thought that he was joking then later that day I found out he was telling the truth. Dave was the first person  I have ever met from Alaska let alone a black man living in Alaska had never cross my mind that day my mind-set was opening up to a lot of new things. Dave spoke about  a better future  for Black men in America how we all have a personal responsibility to our self, our family , our community and our race.  Everyone started to head over to hear the many speakers  Dr. Benjamin Chavis jr,  Rosa Parks, Maya Angelou, Rev. James Bevel and Ayinde Jean Baptiste who at the time was 12 years old  just to name a few for me the speakers was just an encore the bigger prize for me was to see all those Black men  with different religious beliefs, views, and back grounds coming together for one common goal and getting along.

Speaking from someone who was at the march to see so many Black men approximately 1.5 Million to 2 Million at one event this site was something to behold, this  also gave me hope as a Black Man for my community, and my race. I have seen first hand the power of unity, it’s truly a beautiful thing, we have to remind our self that it starts with us we first have to learn how to love and respect one another once we do that we can start a path for a better tomorrow.

Who will save us? / We will save our self # Who will save us?

 

# Mighty Men series 1

 

 

 

You can prepare for something if you know that it’s coming, but the unknown always seem to hurt the most. Could you imagine that today is a new beginning for you and your tomorrow is gone forever. Imagine if this happens to you.

On your way home from work thinking about spending time with your wife and your kids, it’s been a long week at work you’re just glad to be off.   As you ride home you wonder what’s for dinner and what are you and your beautiful wife are going to do with the kids this weekend,  your happy  loving life you don’t have a care in the world, but all that is about to change.

What you thought was going to be a weekend of fun has turn into your personal Nightmare  what would you do if  you just found out that the woman you been in love with for 20 years was having an affair, what would be your first reaction, would you be hurt,  resentment betrayed maybe even breakdown and cry, probably all the above.

Every thought probably running through your mind, what went wrong, was it her fault was it my fault did I do something wrong, or did she just fall out of love with me how could she just throw away 20 years of marriage, 20 years of memories and she just thrown it away like it was old news, to sit and watch your whole world crumble in front of you could be devastating, your partner,  lover, a friend  has just turn your world up side down.

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A  relationship can be compared to tag team wrestling,  you and  your partner work well together you have chemistry  dam near finishing each other sentences, you are the best at what you do both having each others back taking on all challengers  sitting on top of the world you think that you and your partner are on the same page as you turn for a tag, out of no were you get hit  with a chair (well I didn’t see that coming)  as you sit there dazed and confused wondering why.  (sometimes in a relationship you can feel that way)

20 years of marriage is a long time, 20 years worth of joy, pain, love, hate, and memories you my say that for all those years you are entitled to the truth that you have the right to know  the truth about everything for a peace of mind, and some closure sometimes in life we seek the truth only to come away with more question in these times you have to let go and let god take care of it.

As you try to cope and figure out what happened what went wrong you have to take time and look at your part in the relationship. We as people like to talk about what the other person did in the relationship or how bad they had treated you, but what about your part people can only do what you allow them to do you are the question and the answer .

 

You can complain about why do someone keep treating you wrong ( the question) because you allow them to treat you that way ( the answer)  relationship is hard work and it take  both parties to make it work, a lot of communication, love, trust, honesty,and respect the moment you take the other person for granite there will be problems you can assume that the person know how you feel but it is up to you to express how you really feel remember the old saying a close mouth don’t get fed. Asked yourself who going to take care of you better than you remember love your star player first.

 

# How Many More

In these days and times one have to really have to look at the world that we live in now and if you don’t think it can happen to you are so sadly mistaken, it’s can happen to anyone of us at any time as sad as this sounds this is our reality today.

One never knows when you’re time is coming, but it seems being a Black man breathing we are on borrowed time. This could happen at any time, at any place to anyone , Your back ground doesn’t matter, you being educated doesn’t matter, and to the masses Black living doesn’t seem to matter.

America was in an up roar about Colin Kaepernick protest and kneeling while the National anthem  was being played everyone and their mother had an opponent about the matter, saying they didn’t think that’s was the right way for Colin to make a statement, so i have a question to the masses   when is the right time as we have two more victims whom was murder Terence Crutcher and Keith lamont Scott both men was unarmed. # Who will save us?   Albert Einstein said it best the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results If we wait for the oppressor to help us, we will be waiting a long dam time, if some of you are thinking your favorite athlete or Entertainers are coming to the rescue, not going to happen most  of them are worried about losing  their endorsements.

I have said it before we are the question and the answer, we all have a personal responsibility to our self, to our children, and to our community, now is the time to say No More.

The Revolution will not be televised, but it sure as hell will  be publicized.

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# Take A Stand

 

When you turn on the news all you hear is Colin Kaepernick and how everyone feels about the situation. It seems that everybody has an opinion about the matter. What makes me scratch my head about the whole thing is that once again the media is in the full front of this mess.

When I first heard about this, what caught my attention was the Breaking news bulletin then the reporter proceeded to talk about Colin Kaepernick not standing up for the National anthem, as I got myself together to go watch my favorite team play what really had me puzzle was why was this Breaking news .

People are being murder at an alarming rate, but Colin Kaepernick was the Breaking news and once again Main stream media is at it again, Colin Kaepernick has not stood up for the National anthem the entire pre-season games so why now is this a news story nobody cared before that he wasn’t standing, or was people upset at what he said.

The first amendment said freedom of religion and freedom of press as well as freedom of speech, I guess that apply as long as you do what the masses want  you to do, and not what people really feel like doing, but what is quite ironic the same people who are in an up roar about Colin kneeling during the National anthem or disrespecting the flag and what it stand for are the same people who are trying to take those same freedom and liberty’s away from Colin Kaepernick for standing for what he believes in.

 

 

Colin Kaepernick  explain why he was taking a stand against the wrong doings of African and minorities in the United States, not once did Kaepernick said I hate America, or the hell with the military, that was not his message but some how Kaepernick words was turn into he’s anti-American or not patriotic, when in fact Colin is speaking about the injustice  that has happen across America injustice to Oscar Grant, Eric Garner, Mike Brown and the countless other that lost their lives.

To Colin Kaepernick I Commend you while others are pointing fingers and giving words of discouragement you have maintained in your beliefs.( If you don’ stand for something you will fall for anything)

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# Humanity were are you?

I remember a time not to long ago that people use to show you kindness,  give you a warm greeting,  it’s sad to say those days seem to be gone.  In today’s society it seem to be more easy to tear down a person or try to discredit someone character , rather than to show  compassion, empathy or humanity for someone.

Social media was created for friends and family to communication with each other across the county,  to share pictures and moments,  now fast forward to todays social media where they attacking and bullying Gabby Douglas about everything from her hair to not putting her hand over her heart.   I posted a picture this week  of Gabby Douglass  and Donald Trump not covering their hearts but only Gabby Douglas was attacked Donald gets a pass ( In my Paul Mooney voice, the complexion for the protection )

 

To attack a child on social media is a new low,To bullying this young lady about her hair while she is living her dream competing in the olympics, while some of you are dream killer  and hating ( via Satellite ) from  your couch, leave that young lady alone and get a life.

To attack a child or an  adult on social media  simply because I don’t agree with their view’s or  they didn’t agree with mine views is crazy to  me, (I guess to each is own)  you have your opinion and I have mine and some times in life you have to agree to disagree  (for me) attacking someone just because we don’t share the same view is foolish.   We all have  different opinion, and  come from different back grounds, that’s what makes the world goes around, and that how you created dialog  in an effort to understand one another but what we all should have in common is humanity for one another and sometimes  it’s something simply as changing your thought  pattern.

 

It seem to be all too common on social media for someone to go off on some body just because they don’t agree with your views. People feel that they can say whatever they want with no repercussion, or no remorse for no one feels and no humanity for one another.( Colossians 3:13)  make allowance for other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you so you must forgive others.

 

People act as if their Judge, jury, executioner, and clergy man like they have all the evidence right in front of them, and it’s a open and shut cases and the media outlets always tell the truth  (LOL) sure they do, Remember George Bush and weapon of mass destruction.

To see today’s social  media in full effect just look at the Colin Kaepernick story, I thought there was the first amendment and freedom of expression, I guess I was wrong let me be quiet before I be label a Domestic Terrorist like Huey freeman.

 

 

# America Today

As the horrible death of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile are all over social media for the world to see, I have a question for America and when I say America I’m not talk about the racist of America  I’m referring to the  Politician, Celebrities the good  cops &  all the wholesome, kind-hearted Christian people who have stood by and watching while people are being  brutally murder and nobody has nothing to say.   Race should not matter if you are truly a christian there only two sides  in life right and wrong but somehow people have gotten quit comfortable not saying nothing at all, these are the same people sitting in church every Sunday tell everyone that they are good Christian, and they follow the word  they can’t be listing to the sermons and they sure not living there life according to the good book by keeping you mouth close and not saying nothing  to what is going on today.

 

We love  him because he first loved us If any one says, “I love GOD” and hates his brother, he is a liar for he who does not love his brother whom he has not seen. and this commandment we have from him, who ever loves GOD must also love his brother.

 

A few weeks ago people was going nuts about the death of a gorilla  we all should have the same compassion and feel the same angry for the deaths of Alton Sterling & Philando Castile and all those senseless killing before them WE ALL should be outrage  the same way people were upset about the death of the gorilla the same should be said about a Human life  not just  a couple of people but the whole United States of America should be upset about what’s going on in America today.

Where is Erin Smith with a  new petition   You had  no problem starting a petition  for Jesse Williams speech at the B.E.T awards show  I guess you have nothing to say now?

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We all have to start looking at people  as individually and judge them by  their character and morals and not by their color of their skin.   There a good and bad  people in every race,  on every job and in every police station.  To make a statement  that All Police officer are bad would be wrong and unfair to All the Men and Women that put on the uniform and perform their duties in a respectful and proper manner everyday I wouldn’t call them bad now some of them might need to do some soul-searching.

You can’t call your self a Good Cop when  people are being hurt and Brutally Murdered and some of you police officer know that some of your fellow officer are bad  you work with them you talk to them you eat with them hell some of  you have seen the Bad Cops in action  instead of doing the right thing or  some of you  Good Officer are helping  to cover up some of these  crimes for the Brother hood  or trying to honor the code of silence and protect your fellow officer even when they are wrong.

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Every one came witness the Code Of Silence by looking at the Feddie Grays trail   The media is trying to make States attorney Marilyn Mosby look incompetent but how can she do hear job when you have Baltimore City police officer not cooperating with the investigation invoking the fifth amendment  and trying to honoring the Code Of Silence good luck with that.  At the end of the day we all are responsible for our own actions no code of silence or brother hood should  ever interfere with your charter or your morals . Good people always do what’s right.

 

call that a white privilege, don't you_ - Democratic Underground

 

 

I love my walk home

Some times in life we can get caught up with the every day struggles of life.  Work bills sibling spouse children family and even friends can seem daunting at times. You have to remember take a breath and enjoy life live in the moment sometimes.  My child started an after school program and she needed to be picked up twice a week. The family decided whom ever was free would pick the baby up .

The first day the program started I pick my daughter up. It seem like that every thing that could go wrong on that day went wrong from pot holes to Co-workers internet connection it happened just one of those days. I pick up my child still mad and frustrated about my day and all of a sudden my child comes running out of the school like the building was on fire excited.  She gave me the usually warm greeting asking me how was my day sounding like she has been on this earth before as she begins to tell me about her day.

Telling me what they did in class and what they had learned today how much fun she had and how Jaden didn’t listen to the teacher and got in trouble I laugh just that fast I had forgotten all the troubles I’ve gone through that day just listening to my daughter talk about school and enjoying life.  For some people listening to children talk about kids stuff might seem trivial but for me I enjoyed every moment.  I didn’t get to spend a lot of time with my two oldest kids maybe every other weekend so I didn’t get to see all their younger moment like losing teeth first steps or unwrapping Christmas presents so with the youngest two I enjoy every little moment.

As we continue our walk home on this warm spring day my daughter saw a campaign sign and asked me what did the signs say I told her I’m not going to read the sign.  You known how to read sound it out after she took her time and figured out what the sign said my daughter had the biggest grin on her face with the look of accomplishment that she was able to figure it out all by herself.  I’m standing there with a grin on my face for me it’s a Kodak moment one of those memory that will last for ever.

That’s why I love these walk homes to enjoy and live in the moment because one day my baby will grow up and be an adult.  But for right now her mind is on school ballet and shopkins I know soon their will be boys her first bra prom graduations and some day maybe down the road a wedding.  So for now I’m enjoying every little moment.  They grow up so fast.

# Concerned student 1950

University of Missouri President Tim Wolfe has resigned over the miss handing of a series of racist incidents on the college’s Columbia campus. Wolfe was pressured to step down after the school’s football team announced it would boycott all football activities until Wolfe was removed from office. The controversy began in September when Payton Head the students association president said he was called a N***** by a group of men in a pick up truck while on campus. On October 5 a drunk student went onto a stage where the legion of black collegians was rehearsing a home-coming skit and screamed racial epithets the Kansas star reports. On October 10, during the school home-coming parade a group of students called concerned student 1950 ( a reference to the year black’s were first admitted to the 176 year old university)  surrounded Wolfe car and demanded he speak with them, but Mr. Wolfe had the police remove them from the parade.

On October 24, a student scrawled a swastika in human feces on the floor and walls of a dormitory according to the Kansas star, you can see why minority students were upset with Mr. Wolfe and his lack of empathy towards the problem. Student Jonathan Butler went on a hunger strike on November 2 saying he would not eat until Tim Wolfe was no longer president. On November 9, 10:55am Jonathan Butler told CNN that he welcome president Tim Wolfe resignation announcement Monday, but that the university still has a long way to go to make minority students feel welcome. Butler says the university governing board needs to listen to more minority students and faculty so that situations like this don’t happen again.

Carl Kenny a professor at the university of Missouri say the school has had racial problem for decades. Mr. Kenny a 1986 Missouri graduate who is also the pastor of a local church says the current trouble on the campus runs deeper than the leadership of university president Tim Wolfe, who announced Monday that he’s resigning, Kenny says minority students and faculty feel as if they don’t belong on campus unless they are football or basketball players. He says the atmosphere has been tension on campus since the university didn’t respond last year to the killing of Michael Brown in Ferguson. Katelyn Brown a white sophomore from liberty, said she wasn’t aware of racism at the university, but she applauded the efforts of the black students group who have complained for months about racial slurs and inequality on the overwhelming white campus. University of Missouri Columbia campus has a population of 35,000 students 17% of whom are minorities. Tim Wolfe had to go for so many reasons one of those reasons is college football is a big business and Missouri University was not going to risk the football team missing a game that would cost them over a million dollars, Missouri also didn’t want to upset their boosters.  People like Don Walsworth this big time booster gave an $8.3 million dollar gift to the school”s athletic program in 2013.

Missouri Gov.Jay Nixon thank Tim Wolfe for stepping down, saying that his departure was necessary step toward healing and reconciliation. I take my hat off to the Missouri football team & the group concerned student 1950 for taking a stand also to coach Gray Pinkel who supported his team in these days and times it’s rare for someone to stand up and do what is right.  From 1950 to today racism on Missouri University campus.  The more thing change the more they stay the same when it comes to racism in white america.

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Responsible / Irresponsible what side are you on.

I was remembering the other day when I was little I hated to wash dishes. I would act like I was so sleepy so I wouldn’t have to do them or when I do then I would half ass do them. I thought that if I keep doing that, my mother would tell me to stop washing dishes, boy was I wrong. Once I went to sleep thinking I could get away with it, not with my mother she doesn’t play, she kindly woke me up @ 1am to tell me to get my butt in the kitchen and wash them dishes. Later on that day my mother told me that what ever plans or scheme I come up with, it doesn’t matter because my job is to wash the dishes and clean the kitchen, even after my mother talk to me , I still try to get away with not clean the kitchen , I’m sick I’m tired, I’m hurt you name it I try , I guess after the 458 time of hearing about cleaning the kitchen and doing it right, it dawned on me that this woman is not going to change her mind about this kitchen and I had to do it, besides she had muscle with her (my father) this man look like Tyson and his hand was big like a baseball glove , I’m wasn’t messing with him, once I realized I had no other choice but to clean the kitchen the right way ,that I was account able for my action that was my first taste of responsible. I’m not saying that washing dishes made me the president of the U.S.A but it did give me a sense of responsibility, pride & morals that I use today . I’m a firm believers in if you teach a man how fish he can feed his family, what I mean by that is if you teach your children responsibility they will be able to take care of their self when they get older, and not have a 37 year grown ass man or woman living with you asking mommy can you wash my clothes or can they borrow some money with no job . We all need help some times, but as parents sometimes our helping or protecting our kids sometimes turns into hindering them. As parents we want the best for our children, some time the best thing for them is to let them grow up and be responsible on their own, choices in life, (your rent is due next week are you going to pay your rent on time or are you going to take that money and party with it. A responsible person takes care of their obligations first , )and irresponsible person just think about the moment, were a responsible person thinks about today,tomorrow and the future . Last night I was reading and article about Juan Silva Sr who was released from prison on Monday July 27 2015, after falsely confessing to a fatal hit and run that happened in 2013, the person diving the vehicle at the time of the accident was his son Juan Silva Jr. Juan R. Zapata -Guerrero was killed and his friend Angalee Jacobs injured as they left a tavern in Milwaukee Wisconsin on September 28,2013. Silva jr told his father he thought he may have hit a dog the day after the accident, but his father realized what happened when he saw the news Silva Sr received five years in prison at his sentencing and had already served almost two years ,Silva Jr.is now facing 6 years in prison . The Milwaukee journal sentinel reports that Silva Sr (45) took the stand on Monday and confessed that he had lied in hope that he could save his son from prison. The story began to emerge about a month ago, when someone who works with Silva wife told authorities she had mentioned her husband confessed to the crime in an attempt to spare their son from prison. Zapata -Guerro was just 39 years old and a father of 3 when Silva Jr (22) struck and killed him with his car. Now I believe the father really thought he was doing the right thing and protecting his son but it was just wrong Juan Silva Jr was responsible for the accident so Juan Jr. should have own up to it , that’s what responsible people do.

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