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Before we can unite as a people we must first change our mindset learn how to respect and love one another heal and grow. Then we can flourish and prosper as a people.
Time to grow up
Having a kid should be a memorable and joyful time. It also should be a wake-up call for you it’s not all about you any more you have a little life that you are now responsible for its time to grow-up and be mature. Caring for children don’t come with an instruction manual or batteries included.
No one has all the answers when it comes to raising children you pretty much learning on the job as you go or some might say baptism by fire. When I had my first child I learned that lesson quite quick it was no longer all about me I had to grow up. Instead it became all about the baby being a responsible parent that’s what you supposed to do. If you trying to teach someone you should lead by example.
What are you teaching them
As responsible parents it’s our job to raise children the right way in the hope that one day they become good human beings and responsible parents and adults. Sometimes as adults you have to love, teach, encourage, correct, and discipline your kids when necessary remember you are the parent not their friend.
It’s up to you to nurture your kids like a plants cultivate the soil with morals, Integrity, honor, and values. To water them with knowledge daily and guide them with plenty of sunshine and rays of hope. You are your child’s first teacher.
Children like to imitate what they see and hear from their parents so you have to be careful what you’re teaching and showing them. If you teach your kids to fish they can learn how to feed their self. When you teach your children honor, values, community, self-worth and how to save money. That can be a valuable tools to learn create and build their own ideas.
Welcome to adulthood
Most parents want their children to be responsible an able to take care of their self in life. To do better than their parents and surpass them. There’s no better feeling is to know that your children are able and responsible enough to take care of they self in the hopes that one day that they will have their own family to raise.
Using the same values and lessons that you taught them. Being a mature parent my not always a popular choice among kids. but it is necessary like breathing air there’s no guarantees in life.
You could be here today and gone tomorrow as a mature and parent you try to teach your kids about everyday life and how to survive today and live for tomorrow because you know that you won’t always be around. And giving them the tools and knowledge to take care of them self is vital. No one likes to thing this way but for mature parents it’s a must. Always remember you’re their parent not their BFF.
Two years ago I had a real talk moment with myself and I didn’t like the answer that I got. Have you ever been fed up with grown ass people who has nothing better to do then keep some type of drama going like an episode of Love & Hip Hop.
That was me two years ago just tried of the drama and gossip the same old daily routine. For me it serve no purpose to give my point of view on someone else situation especially if the person didn’t ask me for my view on the matter nor am I doing anything to make their problem better.
If I’m minding my own business and taking care of my own affairs that doesn’t leave me with a lot of time to be worried about any body else life or situations. I’m too busy securing my own peace of mind and happiness to medal in anyone else life once I adapted this method life became a whole lot easier for me.
I control my own happiness
Always remember misery loves company and always looking for new friends to add to its ever-growing list of miserable people looking for drama conflict stress is not just a way of thinking but a way of life. For me I rather be happy and stay positive. A great mindset with positive thoughts bring positive energy .
Think about it in this perspective when you trying to live healthier you eat right exercise diet all in the hope for a better life the same could be said with your mindset positive thoughts bring positive energy and positive result. If you do this with your body you should also do the same with your mind when you start eating healthy you eat plenty of fruits and vegetable. So we can say the same thing about ones mindset. Positive perspective self-esteem and appreciate what they all ready have will be a key ingredient to ones happiness.
One of the most importing thing in life is ones peace of mind and happiness and you shouldn’t let anyone dictate it for you no one should never have that much power over your life and your happiness. Happiness is found when you stop comparing your life to other people and started appreciate yours. Sometimes we put too much stock in other people through and feeling and not enough into our own stock. Happiness lies within you sometimes you just have to give it a chance.
When did people marriages become a public discussions or a town hall meeting. Why are so many people in marriages are inviting guests into their relationships or what I like to call unwanted outside Consultants.
Theirs nothing wrong seeking advice from a true friend we all need help from time to time. A true friend will have your best interest at heart not choosing sides in the matter. Just giving their honest opinion straight no chaser even if that means checking you sometimes.
Now so-called friends are totally opposite they don’t come with an objective opinion about your relationship or situation they are strictly bias ready to cause mayhem and havoc to your relationship and before you know it you have a relationship invasion on your hands.
Give them an inch they will take a yard
There’s an old saying you wouldn’t invite the fox into the hen-house so you need to be careful who you discuss your marriage or relationship with remember misery loves company and sometimes misery bring their banana cream pie recipe with them. ( ready to mess up your relationship )
like I mentioned before a true friend will be there for you to give support and not picking sides or being judgmental trying to give good advice. If the person that you’re talking to is not providing that you might want to rethink discussing your relationship with them.
We all have had a moments in our relationships when you needed to vent to someone about your relationship. Sometimes problems can arise if you’re not talking to a mature person. Give a person an inch they will take a yard and some people don’t understand that you’re venting and not looking for allies in a war and sometimes you have to remind yourself the same thing. You can’t get mad at somebody if you inviting them into your house and they got their feet up on your coffee table. People can only do what you allow them to do.
Commitment or confusion
Most people remember the ceremony when they got married but seems to forget the words to the wedding vowels on that day love honor cherish in sickness and health forsaking all others as long as both of you shall live till death do us part.
You made a commitment between yourself your partner and God and now you’re trying to renegotiate the commitment and add an outside consultant for advice to the mix.
In today’s society it seems to be normal to discuss your problems with everybody except the person that you’re in a relationship with your partner. And to me that seems asinine you wouldn’t ask a cat for stock advice so why would you ask somebody who’s miserable about relationship advice. When you started the relationship it was only you and your partner so only you and your partner should have a say-so in the matter and if you need a mediator it should be God.
#BCPSS Town Hall Meeting
A Better understanding
Last night I attended the Baltimore City Town Hall it was quite interesting to say the least. I learned a lot of things one of the things that I learned is Baltimore city is grossly underfunded compared to the other counties in Maryland.
I also learned that the media and Governor Hogan are liars and don’t care about Baltimore city pubic schools. They speak about the governor giving money to Baltimore city schools to help what they don’t tell you is that the money spread over a three years period sometimes a four-year period instead of one lump sum of the money.
So when it’s comes to projects they can’t be completed by contractors until they receive a full payment and by the time they received all the money from the state the original price has gone up making their original agreement null and void that’s why the city send the money back to the state that’s the part the medial and Governor Larry Hogan conveniently left out they made it seem like Baltimore city schools didn’t want the help.
We as parents can’t keep thinking that these elected officials are going to do the right thing. We have to hold them accountable as well as our self. This happened too often in Baltimore City we can’t keep playing the blame game while we watch a crime happen and doing nothing about it especially when our children are involved.
There’s an old saying it takes a village to raise a kid well it takes a community to make sure that politicians are held accountable for their actions if we don’t look out for our kids and fight for them who will.
No child should have to sit in the classroom wearing coats hats and gloves trying to learn because the school has no heat or having to deal with outdated textbooks and adequate learning materials this is not acceptable.
That’s why I took my 11-year-old with me last night to give her first-hand experience how politics work and to show her sometimes in this world you have to fight for what you believe in. If you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for anything and that’s real talk.
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#Realtalkwithmatty #Friday flow
What’s Your New year Resolution
As we begin a new year filled with promise and hope what is your new year resolution for 2018. Are you planning to take more trips this year or maybe doing more exercise for better health or perhaps you’re working on a better you in 2018. What ever you decide to work on try to stick with it you only live once so enjoy life. Why keep putting something off for tomorrow when you can do it today live life to the fullest.
Consistency always wins
Whatever you decide to work on eating right finding love exercise saving more money or maybe a better you just remember consistency is the key you may get frustrated and might want to stop whatever new adventure lifestyle or dreams you embark on this year remember never give up. Rome wasn’t built-in a day so it will take time for your hopes vision and your dreams to formulate but remember consistency is the answer.
Say no to negativity
2018 is a new year filled with hope and promise let’s not be Debbie Downer this year. Sometimes we can talk ourself out of doing things or sabotage a plan or idea before it even gets started it’s 2018 live a little. With a new year comes new opportunity and hopefully a new mindset for some lets leave the doubts and the negativity in 2017 where they belong.
Make 2018 your year the sky is the limit you can do anything that you put your mind to it just remember a positive mindset brings positive energy and a happier life. We are creatures of habit so doing something different or out of your comfort zone may seem strange at first try having an open mind and give it a chance you might surprise yourself and wake up one day to realize that you are enjoying life and living it to the fullest. Don’t listen to the naysayers telling you what you can’t do remember you are the captain of your own vessel there for you control your own course and destiny.
2018 is your year live life to the fullest.
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Now that’s Real talk
University of Missouri President Tim Wolfe has resigned over the miss handing of a series of racist incidents on the college’s Columbia campus. Wolfe was pressured to step down after the school’s football team announced it would boycott all football activities until Wolfe was removed from office. The controversy began in September when Payton Head the students association president said he was called a N***** by a group of men in a pick up truck while on campus. On October 5 a drunk student went onto a stage where the legion of black collegians was rehearsing a home-coming skit and screamed racial epithets the Kansas star reports. On October 10, during the school home-coming parade a group of students called concerned student 1950 ( a reference to the year black’s were first admitted to the 176 year old university) surrounded Wolfe car and demanded he speak with them, but Mr. Wolfe had the police remove them from the parade.
On October 24, a student scrawled a swastika in human feces on the floor and walls of a dormitory according to the Kansas star, you can see why minority students were upset with Mr. Wolfe and his lack of empathy towards the problem. Student Jonathan Butler went on a hunger strike on November 2 saying he would not eat until Tim Wolfe was no longer president. On November 9, 10:55am Jonathan Butler told CNN that he welcome president Tim Wolfe resignation announcement Monday, but that the university still has a long way to go to make minority students feel welcome. Butler says the university governing board needs to listen to more minority students and faculty so that situations like this don’t happen again.
Carl Kenny a professor at the university of Missouri say the school has had racial problem for decades. Mr. Kenny a 1986 Missouri graduate who is also the pastor of a local church says the current trouble on the campus runs deeper than the leadership of university president Tim Wolfe, who announced Monday that he’s resigning, Kenny says minority students and faculty feel as if they don’t belong on campus unless they are football or basketball players. He says the atmosphere has been tension on campus since the university didn’t respond last year to the killing of Michael Brown in Ferguson. Katelyn Brown a white sophomore from liberty, said she wasn’t aware of racism at the university, but she applauded the efforts of the black students group who have complained for months about racial slurs and inequality on the overwhelming white campus. University of Missouri Columbia campus has a population of 35,000 students 17% of whom are minorities. Tim Wolfe had to go for so many reasons one of those reasons is college football is a big business and Missouri University was not going to risk the football team missing a game that would cost them over a million dollars, Missouri also didn’t want to upset their boosters. People like Don Walsworth this big time booster gave an $8.3 million dollar gift to the school”s athletic program in 2013.
Missouri Gov.Jay Nixon thank Tim Wolfe for stepping down, saying that his departure was necessary step toward healing and reconciliation. I take my hat off to the Missouri football team & the group concerned student 1950 for taking a stand also to coach Gray Pinkel who supported his team in these days and times it’s rare for someone to stand up and do what is right. From 1950 to today racism on Missouri University campus. The more thing change the more they stay the same when it comes to racism in white america.
Good morning everybody it’s Monday. I’m publishing a new blog next Saturday. Everyone have a great day and remember positive mindset brings positive thoughts brings positive energy.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar on protest pushback: ‘They don’t like the message’
Shared from my Google feed
Russians linked to political Black Lives Matter ad on Facebook targeting Baltimore
Shared from my Google feed
I choose the titled knowing yourself & loving yourself for this blog because the words are powerful. There are so many people that will sacrifice their own happiness just to please others( that’s sound like a recipe for disaster).
You can’t make anyone else happy if you’re not happy with you first. People spend so much time trying to please everyone else but will ignore themself. Your very own star player (you) how are you going to try to please everyone else but push your feeling morals and believes to the side and still make your self happy you can’t if you believe that you’re lying to your self. To know yourself is to be honest with yourself to shine in your own truth and except your own faults.
I think the serenity pray said it best god grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference it all starts with you. You can’t truly love someone if you don’t love yourself first know your own worth. Asked yourself when you start looking for a mate what do you look for first in a person do you look inward to a person heart and soul, or do you look outward at beauty looks and big body parts ( what ever you like).
When you’re looking to start a relationship what type of person are you look for a materialistic person or maybe a self-indulgent individual with that you get the lies games and immaturity. Or do you look inward to a person heart morals values honest and mature.
Asked yourself this when you in a relationship are you the victim or are you the bully what I mean by this is are you the person who keep complaining about how someone is treating you. Keep lying to you being disrespectful putting your feeling on hold cheating on you (the victim) or are you the type of person who stand up for their beliefs ( right or wrong) what todays society like to call ( the bully).
Everything starts with you. You are the question and the answer. You may ask why do people keep lies to me ignore your feeling mistreated me (the question) because you haven’t required them to treat you any different and you allow it. ( the answer) When you keep doing the same thing but you are looking for different results that’s insane .
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone and you tell them you don’t appreciate something but they keep doing it over and over again and you look at them like why don’t they get it maybe it’s not them maybe it’s you. If you tell a person the same thing 356 what you think they going to get it 357 may be you should change your mindset. People can only do what we let them do. Everything starts with you love yourself first and the rest will follow.
Dear America why do you hate Black people so much, what have we done to you, to deserve this treatment the lies, abuse and the blatant disrespect towards black people. Most Black people are good law-abiding citizens that goes to work, to provide for their self and their family to make a better life for them, but that doesn’t seems to matter to you, as people are losing there lives( for any thing you can name ) at alarming rate. It seem as white America has its own preconceived notions about Black people that we all are thugs, crooks, violent, barbaric race that White America should be scared of, when in fact it should be the other way around we should be afraid of you and history show it.
According to David Stannard who wrote American Holocaust 1992 estimates that 100 Million Native Americans were killed, Mr Stannard argues that the genocide against the Native American population was the largest genocide in history. Mr. Stannard also estimates that some 30-60 Million Africans died being slaved while the other slaves that lived were used for slaves labor, This type of behavior has been going on since the migration of Europeans to American from Taking the Native Americans land, raping the woman , and killing the men this is what this country was built on from the beginning. (Murders Lies and Genocide)
Over the last 5 years I have heard a lot of White American complain about they feel like they are losing the country especially republicans , and to those people I have a Million dollar questions for them , If white American Is losing the county who is winning it’s definitely the Black race and if it’s up to Donald Trump and the republicans the black race will never win. People fear what they don’t understand or can’t control for Us to grow as a county and heal we must first start looking at people as individuals and judge them by their character and Morals, and not by the color of their skin.but when you have preconceived ideas about a race or a person it’s hard to change some people minds even when the truth is right in front of their face, American has murder over 160 Million Africa American and Native America and hasn’t thought twice about it , but yet we are the thugs and the crooks. As I said before history shows who really hate who and who should be scared of who.
The U.S National anthem says land of the free and the home of the Brave but in today”s Society that not true. # Justice & Equality
When you turn on the news all you hear is Colin Kaepernick and how everyone feels about the situation. It seems that everybody has an opinion about the matter. What makes me scratch my head about the whole thing is that once again the media is in the full front of this mess.
When I first heard about this, what caught my attention was the Breaking news bulletin then the reporter proceeded to talk about Colin Kaepernick not standing up for the National anthem, as I got myself together to go watch my favorite team play what really had me puzzle was why was this Breaking news .
People are being murder at an alarming rate, but Colin Kaepernick was the Breaking news and once again Main stream media is at it again, Colin Kaepernick has not stood up for the National anthem the entire pre-season games so why now is this a news story nobody cared before that he wasn’t standing, or was people upset at what he said.
The first amendment said freedom of religion and freedom of press as well as freedom of speech, I guess that apply as long as you do what the masses want you to do, and not what people really feel like doing, but what is quite ironic the same people who are in an up roar about Colin kneeling during the National anthem or disrespecting the flag and what it stand for are the same people who are trying to take those same freedom and liberty’s away from Colin Kaepernick for standing for what he believes in.
Colin Kaepernick explain why he was taking a stand against the wrongdoings of African and minorities in the United States, not once did Kaepernick said I hate America, or the hell with the military, that was not his message but some how Kaepernick words was turn into he’s anti-American or not patriotic, when in fact Colin is speaking about the injustice that has happen across America injustice to Oscar Grant, Eric Garner, Mike Brown and the countless other that lost their lives.
To Colin Kaepernick I Commend you while others are pointing fingers and giving words of discouragement you have maintained in your beliefs.( If you don’ stand for something you will fall for anything)
40 is the new 30 (LMBO) well maybe not for the responsible adults 40 is the same old 40 and these are the times you’re planning for your future and your retirement some people are still taking care of school age kids while some others maybe taking care of their aging parents as well.
Throw in spouses or partners along with work and co-workers don’t forget about family and friends all the while you trying to secure your future enjoy your life and maintain your own sanity and peace of mind. Well welcome to another episode of this is your life I’m your host Realtalkwithmatty today show is midlife crisis destination straight ahead.
Can you imagine dealing with all the situations that I just mentioned all at once this could make your life a little stressful all the while you are not trying to lose yourself in the midst of it all. Taking care of your parents can be a job within itself especially if they are used to being independent and now they have to depend on others for help. Doctor’s appointments making sure their taking medicine on time or even mild suggestions can become a war within itself dealing with your parents especially if you’re dealing with somebody who used to taking care of their own affairs and not answering to anybody this could be problematic and a recipe for disaster and now you got a fight on your hands.
With a pinch of not cooperating an unwillingness to make change a dash of I raised you fool don’t tell me what to do. Throw in a little bit of stubbornness and now you’re smack in the mist of a battle a middle age battle between you and your parents you might lose some battles but the objective is to win the war to make your parents last moments on earth as peaceful and relaxing as possible.
Now the battle with your parents is enough to deal with by itself but sometimes you face different wars on different fronts as well your kids spouses or partners dealing with family and friends can seem overwhelming at times. One thing that’s important that you need to remember is you need to take care of your star player (you) before you will be dealing with your own midlife crisis.
A midlife crisis could be a major life experience such as dealing with the loss of loved ones or a loss of a job an affair maybe the feeling of loneliness or abandonment a divorce this could lead to feeling depression remorse anxiety for others they have desire to achieve youthfulness or make drastic changes in their lifestyle.
Dealing with all the situations that I mentioned earlier can be quite overwhelming at times the parents kids spouses or partners work and coworkers all the while you’re trying to take care of your own needs. In these times one thing you have to remember is you have to take care of yourself and make time for yourself to enjoy life regroup and relax. Your no go to any one if you’re somewhere upset and stress. Remember you can only control you and your actions. And to those who have not experience this yet. Midlife crisis coming to a lifestyle near you.